Close your eyes with me and let’s travel back for a moment to the night Jesus was born. I know you have a million other things to do—let’s be honest, it’s “that time of year”—but for a moment, let’s put aside our lists and plans and picture this:
A very, very pregnant Mary has just travelled many, many miles over a lot of days for a census, with Joseph, their life together only just beginning after an already unexpected start. They finally reach their destination, only to find there is no place for them.
Can you feel the disappointment? The exhaustion? The ache in her back, cramps in her front, and swollen ankles? The loneliness of being away from her family, wondering what Joseph was thinking about all of this? The confusion in trying to make sense of the Lord’s promises amidst her current reality?
Mary was carrying so much more than just a baby.
What Are You Carrying?
Now come back to your present day and connect with Mary for a minute. Is there an element of unrest, looming disappointment, mental and physical exhaustion, or confusion infiltrating into your own holiday season?
Have you, too, arrived at this season carrying more than you expected, wondering if there’s room for it all?
I don’t know exactly what that first Christmas was like for Mary, but I can imagine a mixture of difficult feelings and a deep sense of the Lord’s presence as she rode steadily into Bethlehem, willing to do what the Lord had called her to do. And maybe we, too, can take comfort in knowing that the first Christmas held both the brokenness of this world and the beauty of God’s presence together.
Whatever you’re carrying into this season, here are a few things that may help you navigate the season with honesty, intention, and hope.
Set Realistic Expectations
Life is not a Hallmark movie. It is life, and it is complicated. People are broken and relationships are messy, and this time of year is no different. When heading into a family gathering, it can be helpful to make a mental note of topics to be avoided and potential ways to divert the conversation. Remind yourself that Christmas lights and hot cocoa don’t heal wounds; Jesus does. Pray before those gatherings, that the Lord would be in those conversations and protect you from harm.
Name That Feeling
It can be helpful to identify exactly what’s causing the unrest within, and to talk to someone you trust about it. This would be where I insert my shameless counseling plug, but in reality you can also do this on your own! Set aside time to process your emotions with your spouse or a trusted friend. What’s troubling you? Is it a complicated relationship with your mom or dad? Is it seeing a family member who triggers painful memories? Is it the first holiday season after the passing of a loved one? Identifying your emotions and the root causes beneath them can help you be less reactive and more responsive.
Know Your Boundaries
Feeling overwhelmed with life? Finances tighter than ever? Maybe this is the year to say “no” more than you say “yes” to all the extra holiday commitments and purchases. Figure out what is absolutely necessary to commit to, and save the rest for another year.
Nervous about extended time with extended family? Spend some time processing what feels safe and what doesn’t, and give yourself permission to leave when things take a turn. While you don’t want to spend too much time traveling down the “what if” lane, it can be helpful to think through situations that might require setting a boundary.
Look for the Good
The Lord is in all of it and He covers all of it. Every broken relationship and wounded heart and single tear drop -– He sees it and He cares. Look for the ways in which God is working, and don’t be afraid to come to Him when it doesn’t seem like He’s there. He promises He will never leave us, and we can hold confidently to that truth even when it feels like the world is falling apart. Turn off the screens, slow down, take a deep breath, and be present so you don’t miss all that God is doing.
God Is With Us
Whatever you’re carrying into this Christmas, you don’t have to hide it or hurry past it. Make room to acknowledge what’s real and bring all of it honestly before God. And in the midst of whatever this season holds, may you find comfort in the same truth Mary experienced that first Christmas: God is with us.
Resources:
Navigating the Holidays
Walking Through Grief: AdultsHelping Kids Through GriefBuilding Healthy Boundaries
