I am no stranger to trauma, both in my own life and in the lives of others. Chances are, neither are you. The word “trauma” literally means “wound” in Greek. In a world broken by sin, wounds are inevitable.
What makes our current circumstances unique, is that we are experiencing worldwide, collective trauma. Counselors call this “social trauma.” It’s the shared traumatic experience of a society—for instance, in the event of terrorism, war, or of course, a pandemic. The last time the world survived a global pandemic, you and I weren’t even alive. For us, this territory is entirely uncharted.
What can we expect? There are five stages to social trauma:
Stage 1: Grief
During this stage people are grappling with sorrow and shame. They tend to vacillate between feeling embarrassed about their emotions, and angry that they aren’t stronger. But grief is healthy. In this stage, give yourself freedom to feel.
Stage 2: Desensitization
People are settling into the new normal. New information doesn’t affect them the way it did in stage one. This is the jaded, eye-rolling stage. You’ll hear, “Good grief, when will this be over?”
Stage 3: Exhaustion
This is when you hit a wall. You have been desensitized, but you are also numb and tired. It’s common to sleep more and possibly slip into depression. It sounds counterintuitive, but if you feel exhausted, you may need to do more not less. Often exhaustion isn’t related to physical depletion, but to the loss of routine. Encourage others and yourself to recover prior routines.
Stage 4: Accommodation
We begin the process of coping and feel like there might be light at the end of the tunnel. We are coming to terms with the fact that we are not in control, and that is okay.
Stage 5: Adaptation
There is less stress in this stage. We have become better suited for our new environment. We are more comfortable with the unknown and not being in control. This is when we can be most helpful to the people around us.
It’s important to understand that the process of coping with trauma isn’t linear. We don’t work through each stage progressively; we bounce back and forth. One day you may believe there’s light at the end of the tunnel, and the next day you may find yourself in the throes of exhaustion. But the wonderful reality is that God has designed us to eventually adapt.
Recently, I was watching a show with characters in Israel. There was gunfire in the background, and the shocked visitors asked the Israeli, “Is that gunfire?” He responded, “Oh yeah, we don’t even hear it anymore.” Adaptation is intrinsic to humanity. With time we will adjust to our circumstances because God mercifully designed us to do just that.
In the meantime, as society processes this collective trauma, what should the church be doing?
When news of the coronavirus was in its infancy, someone asked me, “Do you think the church is going to make it through this crisis?” I was surprised because we were still in the early stages of the outbreak. But I took the question very seriously.
In Matthew 16:18 Jesus declares that the gates of hell will not prevail against His church. We must recognize, though, that Jesus was speaking of the global Church, not each and every local church. There is no crisis in the entire world that can take down Christ’s global Church. However, local churches are forced to close their doors all the time.
So one day, before services had even been canceled, I went to Kraft Azalea Park and sat on a dock alone with God. I thought about the question—will the church make it through this crisis? I told God I didn’t know what to think, and I needed His direction.
In my spirit, clear as day, I heard the Lord say, “Mike, you’ve been teaching people that you have to do what only you can do, and let Me do what only I can do. Do you really believe that?”
I told Him, “Yes, I really do.” Then He said, “These are the four things people need to do: they need to pray, serve, give, and gather. And if those four things are done in My church, it will survive.” From that point forward, I felt supernatural peace and confidence.
Over the next four weeks, we will be talking about each of these four words. Grace Church, hear my heart—I truly believe God gave me these words for you. For your encouragement and discipleship. Let them sink into your heart. When you are stuck in exhaustion, grief, or desensitization and you don’t know what to do, remember these words: pray, serve, give, gather.
Pray because everything depends on God. Now is the time to flex the muscles of our faith through consistent, intentional connection with Him.
Serve because we are called to spur one another on toward love and good deeds (Hebrews 10:24). Sometimes this service is simply the ministry of presence. It’s calling someone on the phone and abiding with them through your shared grief.
Give as an act of faith and obedience. It’s tempting to create a separate category for money; to obediently submit to God’s teaching about everything else—marriage, parenting, morality—and quietly ignore His call to give. Resist this temptation and be whole-heartedly obedient.
Gather online until we can meet again in person, because we are called to live out our faith together.
God is so good. By His grace our ministry isn’t just surviving, it’s expanding. We are reaching over six thousand people every week with our online services — that’s double the scope of our people. Clearly, God is doing the part that only He can do! May His love sustain and empower us to do the part that only we can do.
