People sometimes ask me what precautions I take to avoid falling into sin. It’s a fair question. As a leader of Christ’s church, I’d be foolish not to recognize the reality of spiritual warfare and my own susceptibility to moral failure.
And I’ll be honest – any time I learn of the failure of a Christian leader, it pains me deeply. It doesn’t just wash over me like the latest statistic; it weighs on me, grieves me, compels me to pray. One thing it doesn’t do, however, is scare me. It doesn’t shake my faith in God because I understand the nature of sin – and more gloriously – the nature of grace.
How should we respond when a loved one messes up in a big way? Does moral failure permanently disqualify someone from Christian leadership? What personal steps can we take to live “upright and godly lives”? (Titus 2:12)
I don’t build my life around avoiding sin. I build my life around loving Jesus.
These are important questions, but before we answer practical questions like these, we’re wise to examine the foundational beliefs that influence our hearts, minds, and behaviors. Ephesians 6:12 says that “our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against rulers, authorities, and the cosmic powers of this dark world.” Who are these rulers, authorities, and powers? They’re not your president, governor, and mayor. The Bible says they are spiritual forces in the heavenly realms.
I find that fascinating.
The Bible is saying our war is not with another person. It’s not with the spouse who betrayed you, or the role model who failed you, or the political leader who angers you. Our battle is not against flesh and blood. It’s against worldly principalities and spiritual forces that have deceived and warped human thinking. Our battle is against our own broken hearts, besotted with a broken world and everything in it – “the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life” (I John 2:15-16).
Our strategy, then, should never be to shame, condemn, or hate. It should be to pray, extend mercy, and restore. It should exemplify the words of Jesus, as controversial today as they were 2000 years ago: “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” (Matthew 5:44).
What does this kind of countercultural grace look like practically? It looks like hearing someone out fully, not partially. It looks like asking questions that reach beyond a person’s sin to uncover the unmet needs of their heart. Questions like: “How do you feel you arrived in this situation? What were some of the steps that led up to making this decision? What was going on in your heart before and after?”
People will do really wrong things in an attempt to satisfy legitimate needs, such as the need to be treasured, considered, or respected. Our goal is to dial into these real, unmet needs, not to excuse or justify sin, but because beautifully, these are the very roadmaps that point us back to Jesus as the truest source of satisfaction.
As you listen to someone’s story and uncover their needs, it’s important to acknowledge and appreciate their willingness to confide in you. People go into self-protection mode when they confess sin. They’re instantly aware of the potential for judgment, and validation goes a long way in those moments.
What doesn’t go a long way is jumping immediately to your 5 Simple Solutions for Fixing Them. People do need biblical solutions, but if you go there immediately – or worse, if you frame it legalistically – it will come across as cheap and disingenuous.
What if someone doesn’t confess their sin? What if they’re caught? Galatians 6:1 says that “if someone is caught in sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently.” In other words, gospel grace still applies. The goal is always restoration, not condemnation, because the heart of God “is patient with us, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance” (2 Peter 3:9).
What if someone is unrepentant? Shortly after calling for “gentle restoration,” Paul writes, “Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life” (Galatians 6:7-8).
The unrepentant person faces the consequences of their own sin: destruction in this life and the next. For “after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death” (James 1:15). Sin always leads to death. The death of integrity. The death of intimacy. The death of trust, reputation, and relationship.
Is there a way back for the Christian leader caught in sin? There was for King David. Though his sin cost him the death of a child and ultimately the unity of a nation, God affirmed David as a man after His own heart. (2 Samuel 11-12; Acts 13:22). In my opinion, a repentant leader could be considered for future leadership on a case-by-case basis, when enough time and restoration has taken place.
Which brings me full circle – as a Christian leader myself, what precautions do I take to avoid falling into sin? Truthfully, I don’t focus so much on avoiding sin. I don’t have five dozen “accountability partners.” I have friends who know and love me. Do these guys talk to me about my stuff? Sure. But to me, the question is not “What do I have around me to secure me?” The question is “What kind of person am I on the inside?” Because you can have 25 accountability partners and lie to all of them. You can have firewalls and passwords and circumvent them.
The only guarantee for a life well-lived is to truly love Jesus. This is how all great leaders finish well – from the Apostle Paul to the granddad who leaves behind a godly legacy. They learn to love Jesus more than they love sin. To live in genuine relationships with others. To cultivate a culture of gospel grace everywhere they go.
I don’t build my life around avoiding sin. I build my life around loving Jesus.
