Sermon highlights from Boundaries Week 4. Sermon by Dr. Collin Outerbridge; notes compiled by Dan O’Toole.
Big Idea:
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When You Are Loved Well By God, It Becomes Easier To Love Other People Well.
Week 4 Main Scripture:
Colossians 3:12-17
Sermon Highlights
Three Things to Know Before You Can Love Others Well:
Colossians 3:12
- You Are Chosen.
- You Are Holy.
- You Are Dearly Loved.
God chose you, even before the moment in which you became aware of God, even before the creation of the world (Ephesians 1:4). God initiates the relationship with you. He chose you because he wanted you.
Understanding that God wants you makes you less needy to be wanted by other humans.
Holiness comes from God, not from you. At the cross, Christ took on all your sinfulness and put all his righteousness on you.
Understanding that God accepts you because of Christ’s holiness in you, you don’t have to perform for the acceptance of other humans.
You are not just loved by God, but you are dearly loved. Thoroughly loved. Completely loved. Your love for others comes and goes based on their behavior toward you. But God’s love is perfect. He sees all things, even your sins, and still loves you.
How Do We Forgive?
When you need to be forgiven, you need humility to ask the person you hurt or wronged for forgiveness. Their response to your humility is not your responsibility. Your humility and asking for forgiveness are your responsibility.
A shortcut to eliminating the excess need to forgive others might mean that you need to seek to become less offendable, not being easily offended by everything.
Forgive as God forgave you. Forgiveness doesn’t start with the other person. It’s not contingent on them changing their behavior. Sometimes, the offender never changes their behavior. Forgiveness starts and ends with you. In many cases, forgiving someone will be a daily choice, just as God forgives you each and every time you sin.
Why Do We Struggle to Forgive?
We don’t feel like we are dearly loved, and because of that, we don’t feel forgiven. We struggle to give forgiveness to others because we struggle to receive forgiveness from the Lord.
If we live in the “orphan mindset,” which says, “Because I don’t feel loved or connected, I’m on my own,” We need to experience God as our Father, who chose to adopt us into his spiritual family.
Self-sufficiency – depending on you to meet all our needs – is contrary to the message of the Bible. Not only can it lead you to think we don’t need God, but it will also cause you to treat other’s needs with an attitude that says, “If I can do it for myself, why can’t you?” You need to learn to depend on God and walk in fellowship with the Holy Spirit.
By understanding that you are chosen, holy, and dearly loved by God, you can clothe yourself with the compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience appropriate to love others well, according to their needs.
How To Experience the Peace of Christ
Develop the Spiritual Skill of Gratitude.
It takes discipline to move from Grievance to Gratitude. You can either train your brain to look for the negatives in everything, or you can train your brain to seek out the positive and the beautiful.
Looking to learn more about boundaries? Go deeper here.
