Sermon highlights from Boundaries Week 1. Sermon by Mike Adkins; notes compiled by Dan O’Toole.
Big Idea:
- Free Choices Don’t Come with Chains.
Week 1 Main Scripture:
- Galatians 5:13-15
- Romans 14:12-13
What You Accept in Your Life Will Be Repeated in Your Life
The kinds of choices we make will cause us to be more free or less. Boundaries are designed for maximum and sustainable freedom in your life.
An example of a spoken boundary when someone speaks to you aggressively or inappropriately is:
“No, you can’t talk to me like that. And I’m not going to talk to you like that. We’re going to have a civil conversation or none at all.”
You can’t change the people around you, but you can change who are the people around you. If someone continues to violate your boundaries, you don’t need that person in your world.
Everyone needs to have people who speak into their life. But not everyone can or should be those voices in your life.
What Does Freedom Look Like?
Big Idea: Free Choices Don’t Come with Chains.
Freedom always has conditions to it. When you use your freedom to violate “social contracts” with others (like driving on the wrong side of the road), it leads to a limit of freedom for yourself and others (like a car crash).
In Galatians 5:13, Paul suggests not using your God-given freedom to become the worst version of yourself through indulging the sinful parts of yourself.
When you walk the path of sin, you’re inviting suffering into your life. For a short time, sin feels great, but it paves the way that leads to eventual self-destruction. The consequence of bad choices is a diminished life.
How Do I Know When I’m Making a Bad Choice That Makes Me Less Free?
A Choice is a Bad Choice It Makes You Less Free to Do What God Wants You To Do.
When facing a decision, ask yourself, “Will this make me more free to serve Jesus?”
Spending Money
- You are free to spend your money as you wish, but a person with boundaries doesn’t spend recklessly, as excessive debt can limit your financial freedom and options in the future.
Driving
- You are free to drive a car, but a person with good boundaries is not free to drive recklessly, as it can lead to accidents, legal issues, and loss of driving privileges, thereby reducing your mobility and freedom.
Alcohol Consumption
- You are free to drink alcohol, but a person with good boundaries is not free to drink and drive or to be drunk, as it can lead to accidents, legal penalties, and loss of driving privileges, thereby restricting your freedom.
Work
- You are free to work and achieve success, but a person with good boundaries is not free to overwork to the point of burnout, as it can lead to health problems and decreased productivity, limiting your ability to work effectively.
How Can Our Decisions Make a Difference in the Lives of Others?
In Romans 14:1-3, Paul calls members of the church to accept the one whose faith is weak, without quarreling over disputable matters. Disputable matters are situations that are not black and white, according to scripture, like eating anything vs only eating vegetables. A modern example would be the matter of baptism by sprinkling vs baptism by total immersion or hymns vs contemporary worship.
Indisputable matters are things the bible is very clear on, like murder, adultery, stealing, and lying.
Some Christians have a more restrictive conscience, regarding rules and disputable matters. A restricted conscience does not make you holier.
The Christian with the less restrictive conscience has boundaries and conditions on their own freedom. You can’t use your freedom to make the weaker Christians think you despise them. Your freedom is restricted if, by exercising it, you cause your weaker brother or sister in Christ to stumble in their faith and sin.
Not only do our free choices not come with chains, but we don’t put chains on someone else’s conscience either.
Principles:
- Stuff That Matters to You Doesn’t Have to Matter To Everyone Else. Stuff That Matters to Everyone Else Doesn’t Have to Matter to You.
- Every Boundary Crossed Has a Consequence.
Three Consequences for Choosing to Do The Wrong Thing:
- Hardness of Heart (Desensitizing)
- Compromise of Values (Rationalizing)
- Loss of Self (Depersonalizing)
Looking to learn more about boundaries? Go deeper here.
