I still remember the summer of 1989, when I took an epic road trip in a Grand Marquis with five other people. In the front seat was Grandma (our fearless driver), my mom (the navigator), and my younger sister, Traci, squeezed between the two of them. The back seat was home to my two older cousins, Jennifer and Charlie, who each got a window seat, and I was in the middle. There was very little breathing room in this four-door car, and even less leg room. 

On mile ten of our thousand mile trip, we began the friendship-bracelet-making-factory of the back seat. Equipped with a box full of supplies, Jennifer, Charlie, and I discussed strategies for holding the knot securely to start the bracelet, possible color combinations, the appropriate length of the bracelet, and the most important thing — to whom these bracelets would be given. 

James warns that friendship with the world makes us an enemy of God.

I wasted no time making my lengthy list of friends who needed one of these delightful wrist accessories. Church friends, school friends, neighbors, and more filled my little piece of paper. For the next ten hours, I made one friendship bracelet after another, working my way through the list. I was certain that this gift, an Amy-handmade-original product, would create a strong association between me and the recipient and forever seal my friendship with her. 

The book of James has interesting things to say about friendship. In chapter 4, James warns his readers against worldliness. A worldly person is defined as someone who’s focused on physical and material things rather than spiritual matters. James holds nothing back in his quick, rapid-fire commands to God’s people to live differently than the rest of the world. In James 4:4, we’re given some pretty clear instructions about friendship: “You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.” 

What does it mean to be a friend of God? And what characterizes a friend of the world? To be a friend is to have a strong association with someone. Friends are more than acquaintances or peers; they have deep affection for one another. Friendship requires knowing something about one another and choosing to continue in relationship. 

If we look at the full context of the book of James, we’ll realize that this verse is nestled between passages about the tongue, wisdom, pride, and money. It’s not circumstantial that friendship with the world is right in the middle of these concepts — James wrote it that way on purpose and to give us greater understanding. 

James warns that friendship with the world makes us an enemy of God. That seems harsh, doesn’t it? He compares this type of friendship to an unfaithful marriage relationship filled with broken promises and hurt. Through these words, James is trying to reveal a deeper heart issue: What is the object of your fondest affections? 

If that’s hard for you to answer immediately, look at your weekly calendar, your screen time reports, your bank account, or your text messages. What consumes your life? Is it something that presses you more toward Christ or more toward this world? As Christians, we should be defined by our relationship with God and how we reflect Christ to others. After all, the word Christian literally means “little Christ.” 

The reason James speaks so harshly about friendship with the world is this: This world is broken, sinful, finite, and will one day end. If our friendship is with the world, it will also end. God is perfect, righteous, holy, and eternal. A friendship with God will never end, even after life on earth is over. 

Without Christ, friendship with God would be impossible. Just a few verses later, in James 4:10, we’re reminded to humble ourselves before the Lord, so we will be exalted. Do those words sound familiar? Here, James is echoing what he saw his brother, Jesus, do. 

“Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has high exalted him and bestowed on him the name the is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, an every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord to the glory of God the Father” (Philippians 2:5-11).

Because of Christ’s sacrifice, because He was humbled and then exalted, we may know Him. When we know Him, we will confess and proclaim His glory with our tongues, and friendship with God is attainable. We could never be a friend of God without Christ. 

Just as young Amy in 1989 hoped that dozens of friendship bracelets would cement her relationships forever, we can have confident hope that our friendship with God is forever sealed because of Christ. As we take next steps and grow in our faith, this friendship will grow richly, develop more deeply, and become stronger and unwavering. Friendship with God will be the only friendship that fully satisfies.